Buttercup

The following quote is so powerful and so important in my life right now that I feel it deserves its own blog post:

"Your value doesn't decrease based on someone's inability to see your worth."

LJ

You learn a lot about yourself when you live alone.

This past week of living in my new place has been a whirlwind of emotions. Freedom. Happiness. Independence. Stress. Anxiety.

It doesn't help that this week at work has been my most busy/stressful yet. And on top of everything, I proudly survived that two-week cold without seeing a doctor, and now guess what? Sinus infection. Im on antibiotics and other fun stuff for a couple of weeks. Joy.

Timing has been perfectly awful this past week, but I'm determined to get through it as a stronger person, even if my left eye continues to twitch until next year. (Speaking of next year, I cannot believe it's already mid-November!)

Here a some interesting things I've learned about myself since last Friday:

- I can go all weekend without signing into my social media accounts... and absolutely love and enjoy the liberating feeling of not seeing/reading everyone's business. Hence, why I have now dubbed my weekends social media free.

- I scream when I am forced to kill an unwelcomed insect lurking in my apartment... even when it's 5:30 a.m. Sorry neighbors.

- I spoil my cat with cuddles and food. My dad and I have a bet going. He thinks Avery's going to gain weight living with me, but I know I can keep her healthy. If fur baby wants food, fur baby gets food. Sorry dad.

- I would do very well living in a city-based apartment. Having a balcony that overlooks a busy back road is what some would consider noisy. I love it. I can't stand silence. The sound of passing cars is soothing to me, especially at night. And it's fun to watch traffic pile up outside my window and be glad that it's not me in one of those cars. Suckas.

-  I won't be cooking much. It's different when you move into a place with someone as opposed to on your own. I don't feel obligated to prepare meals for just me. I love to cook, but I'll save lots of time not doing so lol. #lazyandproudofit

- I'm a brunette-I swear. My thermostat is idiot proof and it took me until today to figure out that there aren't just three buttons on the panel... there's a flap that when flipped up reveals many more buttons and switches. One of which, saved my life tonight when I turned it to heat. Winter arrived early today.

- I am 10 times more terrified of turning the heater on for the first time of the year when I'm A) In my new apartment and it smells like fire and B) Alone. I'm a big baby, I know.

- I am both a morning and afternoon workout person. I've been waking up early before work to go to the apartment gym for about 45 minutes. I'm loving the morning motivation that it's giving me. Except when I see the same guy in there every day and he's clearly burning 1,000,000 calories an hour as he maxes out on the elliptical.

- I lose important things when I move. My Starbucks card. Gone. Saddest week ever. But seriously, how does that happen!?

- I'm effing giving in and getting an iPhone like everyone else on this planet. My phone decided to have an attitude Wednesday, forcing me to bring it to the cell store and in the process decide it's time to put an end to this Nokia bs. I'm not an iPhone fan either, but at least my phone would be compatible with the rest of the world's for the first time in months. I. Hate. Cell. Phone. Issues. #storyofmylife

And most importantly...
- I made the best decision for ME by choosing to live on my own. Here's to an awesome road ahead!

"Nothing that's worthwhile is ever easy. Remember that." - Nicholas Sparks

- LJ

Wayne

I'm currently sitting on my living room carpet, awaiting the start of The Walking Dead. No couch = rough livin'. Just kidding, I'm loving it!

Everything is unpacked and organized. My amazing PIC came over today and put together my bar stools and tv stand because I'm special when it comes to that kindof stuff.

Avery didn't let me sleep for more than a couple hours consecutively last night. It wasn't that she was scared. She was busy exploring the place and knocking shit over and breaking it. But, other than that, she's enjoying the new digs.

"When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change." - Wayne Dyer

- LJ

Jeezy

This will be one of my shortest posts yet, as I am typing it via my cell phone (on my balcony!). WiFi is splotchy at the moment. I'm in my own place. The stress is quickly dissipating now that everything is in my apartment and just needs to be organized. (BEST part!) Beer is helping, too! My place is absolutely amazing. I feel like I'm living in a dream. Avery, on the other hand, is unsure at the moment and it doesn't help that I left her food at my parents'... I'll get it tomorrow... If she lets me sleep tonight.

This is one of the bravest decisions I've ever made. No more being scared. No more nervousness. I'm loving this new lifestyle!

"You've got to take the good with the bad, smile with the sad, love what you've got and remember what you had. Always forgive, but never forget. Learn from mistakes, but never regret. People change, things go wrong, but just remember life goes on."

- LJ

Selena

Not much to say today and doubt I'll have time to blog tomorrow, so let's do this!

The new song by my birthday twin, Selena Gomez, "The Heart Wants What It Wants" is so on point. (The music video is quite sad though... I'm drawn to the depressing ones lately... what is up with that!?) Story of my life. I'd get into detail, but it's mentally exhausting at the moment and I know with time it'll get better. Time doesn't heal everything, but it does help.

I did not see "lady on the steps" today. I'm saddened because I'm starting to lose hope that I'll ever see her again. However, this morning when I drove past her steps there was something random there. A shoe. A black loafer. Not a pair. Just one. I can't even come up with a logical story for it. I'll let your imagination do the thinking. My brain hurts.

Of course, it's Thursday. Tumbling day. My favorite. At the beginning of my second class, one of the moms came up to me to show me a YouTube video of a girl doing a "spider acro trick." She said her daughter's dance teacher wants her to work on it in my class. Only thing is, I've never even attempted this skill before because it's a dance skill, not a tumbling/gymnastics one. I watched the video. I'd seen the trick done before on TV. Never in person. It looks like only contortionists should be able to do this skill. YouTube it and you'll know what I'm talking about. It's insane. Major back flexibility is needed. Well, after studying the video, I had the girl attempt the skill (she's my most advanced tumbler, so I had faith in her. She even threw her round off backhandspring connection today with me spotting her—it was her first time! Always feels so good when your students get new skills.) She didn't do bad at all on the spider acro. However, she wasn't doing it correctly. Me, being a poor example once again for my students and not so much as doing a bridge hold to stretch out my back, decided to try this foreign skill myself. What happened? I did it on my FIRST attempt. Yeah, that's right! So did not see that one coming. Surprised myself and my girls. I did it a couple more times with all eyes on me and then proceeded to get a massive ass cramp that took a good two minutes to partially stretch out to the point of being able to walk. I told my girls that's what happens when you get old... and don't stretch, of course. Now, they have that to look forward to!

"Don't choose the better guy. Choose the guy that's gonna make you the better girl." - Chelsea Handler

- LJ

Avery

I've got my caramel iced coffee in hand and I'm ready to go!

Avery has been so needy this past week. More than usual, at least. It used to be that she would only come out at night to get attention from me, but now, it's like as soon as I walk in the door from work... OMG I almost just lost my computer to the floor. Avery was scaling the bed next to me and slipped, so I went to catch her at the (almost) expense of my laptop. Isn't stuff like that funny? She's a cat. She would've landed on her feet just fine if I would've let her fall, but my instinct was to save her and screw the laptop. Backwards reflexes lol. As I was saying, I don't know what clicked inside of her, but she can't get enough attention from me lately. I love it. But, I guarantee that she will be an obnoxious nightmare when we move. When I moved her into my last place, she meowed every night (more like moaned like she was dying a slow death) for about three weeks. It was beyond annoying, and made me want to practice abstinence for the rest of life. Fingers crossed that doesn't happen with this move.

The whole time change thing is messing with me. I love waking up to sunshine, but when it's pitch black outside by 5:30 p.m.? Not a fan. AND it was kind of warm outside today. NO. Fall needs to stop teasing and just do its thing.

Had to get a refill on the coffee. I'm downing it like it's PBR. Speaking of coffee, caramel brulee is back at Starbucks! Had to trade pumpkin spice for it today. Totally worth it. Love me some caramel.

As I said in a previous post, I've been having to call everyone and their mom to set services up and such for my apartment. It's life. I get it. I 'm enjoying doing all of these adult things and not having my dad do them. But, let me share why I've had my dad do them in the past...

Today, was the third day in a row that I've called this particular human being (won't even give a gender here) to set up a service. They were initially polite. Then, on my second call, the rudeness kicked in. I kept my composure as I ALWAYS have. I do not recall ever being ugly to any customer service rep for any reason even if they were ugly to me. I don't believe in it. In fact, when I'm done speaking with one of the rude ones, I think to myself "It must suck to hate your job." And I usually thank the polite ones for being so nice. It goes a long way, I'm sure.

There are always exceptions. Like this particular rep that I called THREE days in a row when THEY were supposed to be the one getting back to me. They were busy the first day and said they'd run my credit score and get back to me. Never heard from them. So, I called them the next day, they were driving and couldn't talk. Are you effing kidding me? Fine, asshole. I called AGAIN this morning and it was like a flip switched inside me. No more Ms. Nice Jordan. I was beyond livid at this point. What surprised me even more was the fact that they were STILL rude back. I did get what I wanted out of it though, so my attitude worked. It also felt great to assertively stand up for myself in a situation. I told my dad last night I was probably going to have him call this person because it's what I've had to do in the past to get people to take me seriously. I don't appreciate it one bit. (Luckily, he didn't have to call.) I guess my tone isn't intimidating enough? It makes me want to buy one of those voice changing devices and mess with the next jerk I have to deal with on the phone. That would actually be really fun...

My song of the day is "Under And Over It" by Five Finger Death Punch. Yes, I'm obsessed with the band. Still wish I could relive that concert night. "Wrong Side of Heaven" is another great song of theirs. It's actually top of the charts right now. These guys really appreciate our military. They gave multiple shout outs to those currently serving and those retired at the concert. So awesome, and so proud of my parents for their 20 years each of service. "Wrong Side of Heaven" is about veterans and... I'll let you see the rest for yourself. Very moving. Give the music video a watch.

"You aren't wealthy until you have something money can't buy." - Garth Brooks

- LJ

Del

This day marks exactly four months since my ex and I broke up, meaning four months that I've lived back at home with the rents. It feels like it's been much longer than that. Not because it's been awful living with my parents or anything. Challenging, yes, but not awful. I am so thankful I had them to take me in the day of the break up. I don't know why it feels like it's been longer. I guess that's a good thing? I feel like I've been free for longer. Free in more ways than one, that is for damn sure.

I have lots to share today. Nothing too exciting though, so don't get your hopes up or anything.

I bought some pomegranates for the first time EVER over the weekend. I grabbed one out of the fridge (are they supposed to go in there?) today and stared at it. I wanted to figure out the proper way of eating this strange fruit all on my own. Stubborn to the max. So, what did I do? I cut into it like it was an apple. Wrong. So wrong. I then sat at the table staring at the fruit's insides like I was about to eat a puzzle. How in the hell do I eat this? I thought to myself. I picked at it. Ate a couple seeds. Gross. Then, I did what I should have done in the first place—I Googled "How to eat a pomegranate" like a dumbass. Well, Google sucks and every link I clicked on for the "how to" either presented me with a long article on how to eat it, juice it, and so on, or popped up in picture format and also took too long to get to the point. Screw Google. Hello, Youtube. Did Youtube disappoint? To be honest, I only watched one video. It wasn't that it didn't tell me how to eat a pomegranate—it totally did. However, instead of eating it like a normal person, this guy took the fruit, squished it up in his hands, bit into it and sucked the juice from it. At this point, I said ef it and threw the little pain in the ass away. Next time I attempt to eat one, I will either request help or think twice about eating one. RIP Pom.

I love writing in my blog each night. It's really exercising my creativeness and makes me excited to get back to writing my book. I'm waiting to dive back into it for when I'm in my own place. With my own thoughts. Clear mind. Anyway, what do a lot of writers associate writing with? If you guessed alcohol, you're wrong. But, fine guess. The correct answer is coffee. Coffee at night time does not exactly soothe me to sleep. It's been keeping me up at night, but if I don't have it on my nightstand when I'm writing to keep the creative juices flowing, then there's a good chance that there would be no blog and I'd rather not find out the hard way since I'm on a roll! I could go decaf, but I have a favorite iced coffee (not decaf, of course) and I'm stubborn as you know from the beginning of this post. Guess I'll just start trying to embrace the late night hours. Hmmm...

And now for the main topic: people who go for a walk outside, but instead of listening to music or the lovely squawking of birds chasing other birds, they talk on their cell phones. Holy pet peeve. I came across two separately walking women doing this today. My mom had just told me Sunday that NWF Daily News columnist, and an avid walker around our neighborhood, Del Stone recently wrote a column on how so many others out running and walking are listening to their iPods instead of nature. My first-ever, newspaper-published pieces were opinion columns. I wrote them weekly for my college paper. (GO KNIGHTS). Not once did I ever write about this topic, but I've read a few columns by others who have. I think it's silly for people to be upset by those who listen to music while out jogging or walking for exercise. Like please, it's how we get pumped and distracts us from focusing on the growing hole in the side of our ribs or the squeezing sensation in our calf that will later wake us up in the middle of the night making us wish we had never gone for a run. (No disrespect to good ole Del though).

Those who talk on their cell phones while out "exercising" are a completely different beast. A beast that needs to stay at home instead. I think it's rude. And it's not like the women I saw today were having important conversations. They were clearly gossiping. Even more rude. I don't want to hear that shit. (I run with one headphone in and one out, so I can listen for cars. Can never be too careful. It only takes one. Unless it's a Smart Car.) I don't even bring my phone with me when I go for a jog. What's the point? I'm getting AWAY from everything. Not inviting it to interrupt me when I'm trying to get in the zone and forget about the day's stressors. Leave your phone at home. It's that simple.

Oh yeah, Are You The One?... oh boy. This group is horrible. They got two matches correct last night and the show is already halfway over. They're doomed. And one of my favorite girls is being corrupted by the man whore of the house, which makes me mad at both of them. Mad at him for obvious reasons—man whores are disgusting creatures. Mad at her, because she should respect herself more and did/said something on the show last night that was beyond disrespectful and embarrassing to herself and her reputation. Sad. Unfortunate. Still have faith in her though.

"Kindness is loving people more than they deserve." - Joseph Joubert

- LJ

Mark

Let me just start by saying moving sucks!

Between dropping money left and right on necessities and furnishings, calling companies to set up my insurance, cable, electric, (blah blah blah), packing and not having any room in the ROOM that I currently live in to store all of my stuff, I am two seconds away from curling up in a ball in the corner and refusing to grow up.

Deep breath.

Ok, I am happy to announce that I ordered my dream couch today from a very patient man named Mark (Which had to be a stretch for him considering his store is in New Jersey. I've been to New Jersey. They ain't nice there). That's been stressful in itself. I wanted to be picky when buying my first couch, so I was. Extremely. Then, I was scrolling through a site I'd never visited before and on the bottom of the first page of sectionals, it was listed there with beams of white light shooting out from every angle. It's perfect. On top of finding "the" couch today, I also finished crocheting the blanket that I plan to drape over it like you see in photos of cozy rooms featured in Southern Living magazine. This will definitely be MY space. I would describe it as classy with a hint of playfulness. I cannot wait to fix it up!

In other (kindof) news...

I went for a nice jog today to try to balance this overwhelmed feeling I'm currently experiencing. It worked. The temperature was a little cold though. I'm a mouth breather thanks to basing in cheerleading in 11th grade and having a flying foot break my nose and pop my septum out of place. Two surgeries couldn't fix it. I'm a hot mess for life. Luckily, I still have a keen sense of smell and get to breathe in one of my favorite scents while jogging—clean laundry! I LOVE smelling someone's fresh laundry scent wafting in the air as I pass by their house. It's ridiculously calming and so much better than the smell of sewer sprinklers or dog shit in a nearby yard. Those are not good.

I have yet to see "lady on the steps," but she's due for an appearance any day now, so I have confidence that I will get to meet her before I move!

"It is OK for me to have everything I want."

- LJ

Sam

Instead of listening to my new T-Swift CD, I am listening to the Heavenly voice of Sam Smith. In all seriousness, take some time to listen to his songs. It will make you change your outlook on music. I'm loving the melody of "I'm Not the Only One." The music video is so sad though, so maybe steer clear of it.

I can't believe how cold it is today! Woke up freezing, so we turned on the heater for the first time this season. I always look forward to this day. I remember when I was younger and old enough to understand what was going on, my dad turned on the heater, but didn't tell us and I thought the house was on fire haha. It smells like it! I am NO fan of fire, so I was flipping out lol. 

The good thing about this weather is getting to wear layers, and boots, and sweaters, and SCARVES! I love love love scarves. I'm also a fan of thick, fuzzy, crazy socks for keeping my feet warm at night. Ahhhh, I just love the changing of the seasons.

So, November is a big month. It's the month of Avery's birthday, Jewel's birthday, Thanksgiving, and, this one is huge for me, it marks one year that I've been at my job! I've been out of college for just shy of three years now (GO KNIGHTS), so finally having stayed at a job for a year is a big deal for me. Next month is Christmas and my mom's birthday. SO much to be happy about and thankful for.

The next episode of The Walking Dead comes on tonight. Super excited to see what is up with Beth! Tomorrow is the next episode of Are You The One? and that will be beyond inappropriate I am sure. You can look forward to that recap.

Not too much else to report on. This week will be insane, followed by an even more insane weekend, so I hope to not neglect my blog, but it's a possibility with my schedule. I can't believe that I've written a post almost every day for almost two weeks now. That is a record!

I just remembered something I wanted to share. Every morning, I make sure I grab the newspaper and bring it to the table with me for breakfast reading. However, I'm a bad ex-reporter. I rarely read any articles. Instead, I jump to the "Puzzles" page. This page entails the Sudoku (which I love), Word Scrimmage (which I suck at), the Crossword (which I suck at even more), Dear Abby (who is crazy, but interesting to read), and the Horoscopes. It's funny (well, not really) because when I was a newspaper reporter, I would always get upset when I tried to bring something up in conversation with others and they were like "Oh, I don't read the paper." Like, do you know what's going on in your community or in the world? Do you not care? What the hell?

Well, I stopped really reading the paper a few months after I quit working for it. I no longer hold grudges against those others who do not read it. 

Anyway, sorry for veering. Every morning I read my Horoscope. Before you judge my ritual, hear me out. I have been reading it for a while. Over a year. But recently, I've decided to change the way I perceive my sign's message. Instead of taking the message too seriously or negatively in any way, I simply view it as a positive lesson that I can teach myself that day. Trust me, sometimes I feel like Dear Abby's Jeanne Phillips wrote my daily horoscope—it can be so judgmental and mean. But, I've learned to flip that and see it in my own optimistic light.

"The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts." - Marcus Aurelius

- LJ

Raul

It's really hitting me hard today that I "leave the nest" in just six days. This is my last weekend living at home... WHAT! I should pack my stuff up this weekend, but we all know how that goes. I'll probably be packing the night before like the fine procrastinator that I am.

I am so ready for this next step in life, but I'm starting to get a little nervous about it. I've moved out of my parents' house before, but this time it's different. (I just sung those last words in my head while I typed them... anyone know the band?) I'm not moving WITH someone. I'm doing this solo. It's scary. And in just a couple years I'll be moving out of state! Woah. That's gonna be huge. I can't even think about that one right now.

What I'm really excited about is the fact that I can be selfish with this step in my life because I am taking it alone. I look forward to that. I in no way regret moving out the first time with my boyfriend at the time. It was a learning experience. Honestly though, with his job he worked 48-hour shifts and I would be home alone a lot anyways, so maybe I shouldn't be as scared as I am. I sort of know what it's like to live alone. It's definitely peaceful. (Until you're all by yourself and someone knocks on the door at 9:30 p.m. because their cat jumped the fence into your backyard and won't jump back over, but in that moment that you are walking up to the door SLOWLY to look through the peep hole you think there's a killer on the other side.)

Change is good. It's how we grow as individuals and, most importantly for me right now, it's how we "find ourselves." I've never truly understood what that phrase meant until now. I know what I want for my future and it's all I'm focusing on, which is causing me to not live in the present. I'm not enjoying the moment. I plan to work on it and will share the process. I have high hopes!

As promised:

Lt. Dangle and me. My favorite costumed person of the night!

The bro with Zoolander characters.

Rufio taught me how to use my sais in a fight. 

The raddest TMNT group ever!

Michelangelo and "Raul" (That's what a Chipotle worker thought my turtle's name was haha).

"To get nowhere, follow the crowd."

- LJ